{{NSFW}}
You are about to go canoeing. You feel quite nervous, because this is your first time and there are a handful of people you don't even know.
You get your swimsuit, buoyancy aid, and all your kit and gear on, which in total took one hour. You feel quite embarrassed, because all the others took a mere 5 minutes.
You and your fellow strangers get the canoes ready, and are about to push them in the water. You jump in and 30 minutes later, when you are far out at sea, that's when it happens.
A gurgle in your stomach, which slowly moves down your abdominal area, towards your rectum. You think it is just some petty wind, but you actually FEEL it. Solid in all its glory. You push, and you feel the head of the turtle. You know that it's too late. You can't go back and besides, getting the swimsuit on itself took 1 hour.
You panic. You squirm. You try to pull it back in, but it's too late. Half of the shit had already come out. And then you remember.
You kept your pants on.
You're helpless at this point. Everyone is noticing you squirm and stop rowing. Your own instinctive reactions seem to take over control of the whole of your rectum, as you let go of the bomb.
It squelches in between your pants and your seat and flattens. Oh, the agony of embarrassment! It wasn't just any old capsizer, it was a cow pat! You feel it warm and sticky and the whole of your pants seem to be stuck to your legs. Everyone is smelling it.
The warm scent of shit.
You don't have any choice but to jump in the water. The shit would dry and stick you to the seat.
This shit was as sticky as a Pritt Stick!
As you plunge into the water, your worst fear swiftly becomes a reality.
It was lurking out of your legs.
It ran down your trouser legs, and into the water.
It murked like fog.
It lurked like death.
It spread like water on a curved surface.
Forgetting to swim out of fear, you slowly sink into the murky brown water.
You gasp for air in the murky brown water.
You accidentally swallow it in. The warm flavour swims down your throat and into your liver.
The diarrhoea is so strong, it collapses your liver, and you slowly drown and die.
The last, faded words your hear is,
"Get your shit together Tyrone!"
YOU'RE NEXT